Captains Weekend at Herons Reach – 2024

The annual Captains’ Weekend at Herons Reach Golf Resort was a spectacular event filled with camaraderie, surprises and memorable moments. Over two days, members experienced the highs and lows of golf, as well as plenty of laughs and unexpected occurrences.  I, for one, can attest that I haven’t belly laughed this much in a long time – my jaw ached days later from laughing so much.

Day 1: A Quirky Start and Beautiful Conditions

The weekend began with a hearty breakfast at Toby Carvery, where fines were already being issued before anyone had even swung a club. The fines master had eagerly reserved a whole individual page in his red book for each member.  To say he was keen was an understatement.  The highlight of the morning was Mr. Captain’s appearance, sporting an unusual cardboard LFC crown purportedly made by a neighbor’s child for charity, though some suspected he had lost a bet.

Upon arriving at Herons Reach, members were dismayed and shocked to find the bar closed.  Joe and Alex however were having none of that nonesense and quickly remedied the situation by setting up their own makeshift bar, much to everyone’s delight.  The days start sheet, creatively compiled by Len “more hair on his chin” Potts, was shared between members as they downed their San Miguels.  This featured humorous nicknames that set a light-hearted tone for the day. A rare sight that morning was Bert arriving early, much to the astonishment of his fellow members followed by Ian “always late” Morris living up to his new nick name.

Stepping up to the first tee members provided an unusual start when Mr. Captain’s drive was delivered by a remote-controlled car, adding a unique flair to the start of the tournament.

With the weather cooperating, the course was in fantastic condition, though the infamous Card Wrecker Alley (holes 16, 17, and 18) lived up to its reputation, challenging even the most seasoned golfers.

Highlights and Evening Shenanigans

Joe’s commendable charity drive and enthusiastic bucket rattling not only added to the evening’s sporting excitement but also hastened the exit of women and small children, who unfortunately couldn’t handle Joe’s infectious enthusiasm.

With the meal complete and England through to the next round, the evening saw Steve soldiering on despite his back pain, aided by some liquid courage for medicinal purposes of course. A group eager for the night to continue headed into Blackpool to see what the local wildlife, I mean nightlife was like.  It didn’t take long, in fact at the very first bar, the Soul Suite, Joe’s antics provided hilarious entertainment, especially for the OAPs that were treated to his silky dance moves.

The night also ended on a comedic note when Mr. Captain, ensuring Steve got back safely, found Steve was locked out of shared accommodation. It was later revealed Bert was sound asleep in his jeep, having been lulled into slumberland with classical music, oh and his reserves of lager.

Day 2: Rainy Challenges and Final Competitions

The next morning, breakfast was a lively affair with stories and jokes being shared. Despite the rain, the putting competition went ahead, with Steve’s makeshift gaffa taped contraption drawing mixed reviews. It took hours to make y’know!  Congratulations went to Ben who ultimately won the prize with an impressive hole-in-one putt.

As the rain returned, the golfers pressed on, showcasing their resilience. Stuart, adapting to an injured little finger, played on with a modified glove and cut the pinky off.  Now, having been subjected to Joes ‘chipolata’ in the kebab shop the prior evening, Mike’s first thought naturally was for Joe’s wellbeing and he was presented with the picky cut off – a warmer for extra comfort during the inclement weather. 

The rain continued with a vengeance on the course that day, at times it was horizontal and visibility was drastically reduced.  Raincoats, golf clubs and spirits were drenched to the bone however most pushed on through to finish the round.  Finally the rain subsided and the day concluded with a warm welcome for Mr Captain on the 18th green, followed by a celebratory gathering at the bar where Bert’s gurning skills were a delight to witness. The event wrapped up with a meal and finally the presentation of awards at a somewhat unusual location, Starbucks.

Results:

• Raffles:
  • Bert Blower – £25 at Steve’s pub
  • Mr. Captain – donated prize to charity
  • Len Potts – ANGS subs paid
• Twos:
  • Dave Mac
• Nearest the Pin Sunday:
  • Mike Oakes
• Nearest the Pin in Two:
  • Mark Rowley
• Masters Trophy:
  • Runner-up: Mr. Captain (27 points)
  • Winner: Mark Rowley (32 points)
• Day 1 Winners:
  • Runner-up: Alex Baker
  • Winner: Mark Rowley
• Two-Day Winners:
  • Overall Winner: Mark Rowley
  • Par 3 Winner: Mark Rowley
  • Runner-up: Stewart
• Bert Blower:
  • Crapper of the event with 18 lost balls
• Special Gifts:
  • Mr. Captain received a special gift from the Captain-elect 
  • Mr Captian gifted everyone individually crafted ball markers.