The prestigious Alfie Noakes Ebeneezer Cup, kindly sponsored by the ever-generous Boatman Ben Cryer, was held at Davenport Golf Club last weekend. Expectations were high, as the forecast had promised a sunny week leading up to the event. But in classic British fashion, Mother Nature had other plans. What began as a light drizzle quickly escalated into a torrential downpour, and by the time the first group teed off, it was clear that this would be a battle not only against fellow golfers but against the elements themselves.
The Downpour Begins
As the players arrived, the rain was already greeting them like an overly affectionate dog that refuses to leave you alone. 15 brave souls turned up, undeterred by the weather, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would clear up. It did not. Even Steve decided his golf trolley wasn’t cut out for this Noah’s Ark rehearsal and swapped it for a potentially much dryer buggy. The optimism was still alive, though somewhat waterlogged.
By the time Hole 5 rolled around, most of us were soaked through and my group was starting to consider that the clubhouse, with its warm, dry confines and plentiful beverages, might be a far better destination than the next tee box. Even some of the Davenport members – who must be used to these conditions – were abandoning ship. But not Alfie Noakes members. Like men with nothing left to lose, we powered through the rain with the same dogged determination you’d expect from someone facing down a monsoon with nothing but an umbrella and a pitching wedge.
Wet Rules and Chipped Spirits
The rain was not only drenching bodies; it was soaking through to the very soul of the game. Take Mike Oakes, for instance. By all accounts, he would have happily called it a day somewhere around the 7th hole when the rain turned from “annoying” to “biblical.” But, unfortunately for him, the rules are the rules. He’d chipped in for a two early on, which meant he was on the hook to finish his round to claim the much-coveted twos pot. No one wants to give up a free pint, no matter how soggy it is.
And then there was Joe, whose trusty chipper met a tragic end. Now, I’m no expert, but using a chipper as a fairway wood was probably never part of the design specs. Somewhere between frustration and trying to channel Thor’s hammer, Joe managed to snap it. But his round wasn’t completely ruined—far from it. In fact, it only seemed to ignite something in him, as he marched on to take the day’s victory with an impressive 40 points, even though the only dry thing within miles of Davenport was probably his bag of extra tees.
The Unclaimed Pin
The rain did its best to mess with everyone’s accuracy, and it succeeded. With no one managing to claim Nearest the Pin, it’s safe to say that trying to hit the green with any precision was about as easy as trying to stay dry that day. It was more a matter of “nearest the general vicinity” than anything.
Victory Drenched in Rain
In the end, the soaked crowd gathered to tally scores and wring out their socks. As mentioned, Joe Wilcox clinched the deserved win with a steady round that saw him defy the wet conditions. His putter was so hot it practically evaporated the rain around it.
Runner-up honours went to our very own Mr. Captain, Colin Butler, who fought valiantly through the drizzle and beyond to post 35 points, proving that not even the weather could dampen his competitive spirit.
A Course Worth Replaying (Preferably Dry)
Despite the downpour, it’s worth mentioning that Davenport Golf Club held up admirably under the relentless deluge. The greens were soft but true, and while it’s hard to appreciate a course when you’re more focused on keeping your waterproofs intact, it’s easy to imagine how stunning it must be on a dry day. We look forward to coming back, ideally under clearer skies and without the need for snorkels.
In the end, the Alfie Noakes Ebeneezer Cup was less about golf and more about survival, and somehow, that made it more memorable. Cheers everyone!, here’s hoping for sunshine next time—though with our luck, we’ll probably be preparing for snow.
