Welcome back, golfing faithful, to another rollicking tale from the fairways! This time, our merry band of swingers descended on Chorlton-cum-Hardy Golf Club, the urban oasis where GolfMates YouTube stars strut their stuff and dodge errant shots. Nestled in the heart of Greater Manchester, this parkland gem is a proper test—tight fairways, cheeky bunkers, and greens that smirk at your putting woes. With 14 players ready to battle, one man—yep, you guessed it, Mike Oakes—decided to make the day his personal victory lap. Here’s how it all went down in the scorching sun.
A Day to Remember
The Summer Shield brought out a cracking turnout of 14 players, all eager to tackle Chorlton’s challenging layout. Adding to the fun, we welcomed two guest players, Robert and Jason Kane, who jumped into the fray with gusto. Nothing says “welcome” like new blood taking on the regulars, and these lads held their own with style.
The weather? Blimey, it was a scorcher—hot enough to “crack the flags” and have players guzzling water like they were auditioning for a camel convention. The sun blazed down, turning the course into a furnace, but it only fired up the competition. Chorlton’s members added to the vibe, turning the greens into a warzone with their eager pitching, much to the chagrin of one particular player, our Stuey.
Shenanigans on the Green
No society day is complete without a bit of mischief, and our very own Mr. Captain provided the highlight. Caught red-handed receiving some dodgy coaching on the practice green to fix his woeful putting, he thought he could sneak it past the eagle-eyed Fines Master. No chance! The Fines Master, sharper than a freshly cut wedge, slapped him with an instant fine, and I reckon Mr. Captain’s wallet is now lighter than his short game.
Mike Oakes: The One-Man Wrecking Crew
Now, let’s talk about the man of the hour: Mike Oakes. This bloke turned up with a bag full of magic and a scorecard that read like a fairy tale. He fired a jaw-dropping gross 68—2 under par—to bag the top spot with 37 points. Mike played like he’d made a pact with the golfing gods, leaving the rest of the field scrambling to keep up. But wait, there’s more! Not content with just winning, typically Mike swooped in to claim the nearest-the-pin prize and—brace yourselves—the juicy twos pot, which had swollen to epic proportions after rolling over. The man’s got a nose for prizes like a bloodhound, and the lads are already plotting to lock the pot in a safe before he gets near it again.
Hot on Mike’s heels was Stuart Shand, who matched his 37 points but got pipped on countback. Stuart’s so close to stealing Mike’s crown he can probably smell his aftershave, and he’s chomping at the bit for revenge. Meanwhile, poor Ron “The Tree” Marshal lumbered to last place, earning the infamous visor of shame. Ever the good sport, Ron took it like a champ, vowing to return with a game plan—or at least a bigger axe to hack through the rough.
Chorlton’s Warm Welcome
The day wasn’t just about the golf—Chorlton-cum-Hardy rolled out the red carpet. The Club Captain, an absolute legend, gifted the society two free single rounds of golf, which were promptly chucked into the raffle for the upcoming Captain’s Weekend. That prize pot’s now tastier than a clubhouse pie, and the anticipation’s building faster than a downhill putt.
Eyes on Belton Woods
Speaking of what was next, the society’s already buzzing for the Captain’s Weekend at Belton Woods. Two days of golf, rip-roaring banter, and enough laughs to fill a bunker—it’s shaping up to be the Ryder Cup of good times. Expect the usual chaos, a few dodgy swings, and maybe even Mr. Captain sneaking off for another “coaching session” (we’ve got our eyes on you!).
A massive cheers to Chorlton-cum-Hardy for hosting a belter of a day, to Mike Oakes for treating the course like his personal playground, and to Stuart for pushing him to the wire. Here’s to more golf, more laughs, and maybe someone finally wrestling that twos pot from Mike’s iron grip. Belton Woods was next — LFG!!!