The Alfs Challenge returned once again to the fine parkland layout of Davenport Golf Club in Poynton. Set against the stunning backdrop of Lyme Park, with the hills of the Peak District and the Cheshire Plain rolling out in the distance, it’s a proper golfing treat. The course is always beautifully presented, with those immaculate greens that give you every chance… if your irons are behaving. A proper test that rewards straight hitting and a bit of local knowledge — something a few of the lads clearly left at home. A big thanks to Stuart Shand for once again putting his hand in his pocket and sponsoring the event. Legend.
The day kicked off with glorious weather — bright sunshine and clear skies that had everyone smiling as they unloaded the boots. Of course, there was a sharp breeze that kept things interesting, meaning jumpers were going on and off more times than a tart’s drawers on a bank holiday weekend.
Fairway Farces & Bunker Blunders
As always with this group, the golf was secondary to the comedy, Bert clearly thought he’d booked a day at the beach instead of a golf course. He spent so much time in one particular bunker we nearly sent out a search party with a bucket and spade. Still waiting for the postcard, Bert.
Your correspondent had a heart-in-mouth moment off the 8th tee, when a wayward drive nearly took out poor Jay. The ball missed him by inches and pinged dramatically off his trolley. Sorry again, mate — but you’ll be pleased to know your near-sacrifice wasn’t in vain… I went on to par the hole. You’re welcome.
The twos pot turned into pure comedy. I finally stuck one close (an 8-footer, a rare and beautiful thing) and was lining up a monster payout when golf balls started literally raining down around me like we’d upset the golfing gods. One landed between my ball and the pin, another whistled overhead, and then one came crashing through the trees behind me. After three resets I gave up. The twos pot duly rolled over to Buxton. Grrr.
Dec had a full-blown domestic with his trolley. It clearly had enough of his nonsense, discarded his bag like an unwanted child, and made a break for freedom down the fairway. We’re still not sure who won that particular battle.
Ben and Al shared a buggy and nearly needed the defibrillator on standby. As they trundled past the fairway bell, Ben couldn’t resist giving it a good ring. Al nearly jumped out of his skin and almost had a heart attack. The buggy has since been fitted with a health warning.
No twos were recorded on the day. Apparently the “hail the size of golf balls” made it impossible. Turns out it actually *was* golf balls.
Yours truly nicked Nearest the Pin by default. The green wasn’t exactly under siege, so I’ll take the moral victory (and the small bit of prize money).
The Glory (and the Wooden Spoon)
1st Place: No Doh with a very respectable 35 points. Class act as always.
2nd Place: Dave Mac, also on 35 points but nudged out on countback. So close to a hat-trick of wins, Dave. Better luck next time, champ.
Last Place: Al with 22 points. He therefore earns the honour of wearing the infamous visor at the next event… although it might still be residing with Joe due to his absence. The Visor Committee will be holding an emergency meeting, no doubt.
The usual Fines Master was sadly absent (Macc Town in a playoff and winning a cup final with the church team — a perfect storm for a proper hangover). Massive thanks to Col for stepping into the breach and dishing out the fines with enthusiasm.
All in all, a cracking day out at a great course with plenty of laughs, as always.
Next up is **Buxton High Peak** tomorrow (as I write this). Coffee and bacon roll on arrival, 10am sharp for an 11am tee. See you there, lads. Try not to lose too many balls before we even start.
